Greivances and Gratitude

I got a list of things I am sorely disappointed in and also a long list of gratefuls.  Some are the same thing.  Cause it turns out I am human and full of contradictions and nuances. 

Two main categories of grievances:  

1. Medical care is really weird and offered in a sick and twisted system.  Cancer care is part of that. Despite my being sort of an insider, advocating for myself is hard. 

2. I don't like to create, discuss or defend boundaries.  And I really dislike doing that work more than once about the same thing, with the same person.  If I snarl at you, its likely me resenting the boundary work that is MINE TO DO. 

And my gratitudes?   I am so grateful for my health, for my people who support me, for counseling (how would I do boundary work if I wasn't in therapy???), for the possibility of treatment, for having a "treatable illness", for hope, for sunshine and mild weather.   
Also (in no priority order)
Gardens
Dogs
Fall
Mushrooms
Sleep
Yoga
Food
Apetite
Cannabis
Zofran (I have heard and read about what chemo was like before this game-changing anti-nausea drug)
Fasting
Supplements
Brandi Carlile
Tig Natoro
Glennon Doyle
Pema Chodron
Brene Brown
Great story-tellers to engage my restless mind
Libraries
Intuition
Witchy women
The ending of relationships that were not serving me.
​Perfect timing